When parents in Indiana begin living separately, they need to have some difficult conversations. Typically, they need to work out a basic schedule for parenting time. The children likely spend a certain percentage of their overnight time with each parent. The parents may also negotiate terms for sharing legal custody or the authority to make decisions about children’s upbringing.
Simply addressing the overall division of parenting time is insufficient. Parents also need to consider special days when they may both wish to be present with the children. Holidays are often important days for family bonding and the creation of memories. Parents also usually want to be with their children on their birthdays.
Sporting events, school play performances and other special events may also require consideration as parents establish a shared custody arrangement. There are actually several straightforward ways for parents to address special events and holidays in a parenting plan.
Every family has different needs
In some families, the parents may follow different religions or belong to different cultures. As such, they may each prioritize different holidays. In such cases, parents may be able to arrange for each of them to spend the holidays they value the most with the children every year.
Other times, both parents hope to spend the same days with their children. They want to celebrate Christmas, Thanksgiving and the Fourth of July with their families. When parents both desire time with their children on the same day, there are several different systems that can work for the family.
Many parents embrace an alternating holiday schedule. They see their children every other holiday throughout the year. They then spend the other holidays with the children the following year.
If the parents live close enough to one another, splitting special events may be possible. Children can spend the beginning of the day with one parent and then transition to spend the rest of the day with the other. This arrangement allows the children to see both of their parents on days that are important. While a split schedule doesn’t work for one-off events, such as a big basketball game, dividing individual days can be effective for birthdays and holidays.
Some families may be able to continue celebrating special days jointly when conflict levels are relatively low. However, parents may need to have certain rules in place to prevent conflicts if they both intend to be present at holiday or birthday celebrations.
Exploring different solutions for making shared custody peaceful can be beneficial for everyone in a family. Planning in advance to share holidays and other special events can reduce the likelihood of conflict detracting from everyone’s enjoyment of those special days.